My Total Weight Loss of 140 pounds

I weighed 140 pounds at our wedding

Before I start with how I lost my weight I should cover how I became overweight.  I'll start with after I got married.   Due to many different reasons I became depressed.  I finally went to the doctor about it and was put on an anti-depressant.  Well the one I was on, of course made me gain weight.  Who does that?  Women get depressed so easily about their weight and doctors try to fix your depression with a medication that MAKES you GAIN weight?  Maybe they should rethink that.  So then of course I am even more depressed because I'm starting to put on the pounds.  I work very hard to get off the medication and finally do but now the weight gain has really begun.  At this time I also quit retail and get a job as a branch manager for a bank.  A desk job is really not for me.  Due to my busy work schedule I develop some terrible eating habits of a Venti Mocha and blueberry scone from Starbucks for breakfast and then usually pizza or Taco ell for lunch followed by Buffalo Wild Wings for dinner with LOTS of beer because I HATED my job.  Now I'm up to a whopping 175 pounds!  At the time I'm thinking to myself how did this happen?  Looking back I'm lucky that's all I weighed.

Garry and I decided the time was right to start a family.  I'm thinking we won't get pregnant right away.  I have some time to lose this weight I have put on.  Nope.  We get pregnant the first month.  Yes I am extremely excited but I know the road will be difficult.  My first doctor's appointment I weighed 186 pounds!  YIKES!  It's sad when your doctor looks at you and says he would be happy if you didn't gain any weight during your pregnancy; the worst part is my husband is sitting in the room hearing all of this.  It's humiliating enough to actually be confronted about your weight but then to have your husband hear it was a big wake-up call.  I did great the first 4 to 6 months only gaining about a pound each month and the doctor was very happy and then all the sudden the cravings kicked in hard core and all I wanted were corn dogs and chocolate.  I was seriously chugging Hershey's Syrup straight out of the bottle.  The day I came home from the hospital with Ava I weighed 225 pounds.  I was so happy to have this wonderful baby girl and at the same time so depressed to be at the weight I was.  I then decided that I had to get back down to a healthy weight for myself and my new baby.

Me at 225 pounds

The first 70 pounds:

I have to say that the first 70 pounds was so long ago that I really don't remember specifically what I did to lose the weight.  The big factors were:  We stopped eating and drinking at Buffalo Wild Wings every night.  I made an effort to make healthier choices.  I would go for long walks with my best friend who I use to work out with back when I was in great shape.  I was pretty embarrassed because we use to go to the gym and work out Monday - Friday and we looked amazing.  Now she is still looking amazing and is walking with me, the fat girl on the track, instead of doing her normal run.  She is such a great friend and I'm grateful that she took the time to keep me motivated when I really needed it.  My husband was great too.  He would take me for runs and make me run.  He would pull my arm and drag me along when I didn't think I could go any further.  He loved me unconditionally and was there to motivate me in a positive way.  I was losing the weight and feeling good.  At about the same time I plateaued, Garry and I were driving and listening to talk radio.  A doctor comes on and starts talking about weight loss and makes a statement that will stick with me forever:  A person's weight is determined by 80% what we eat and 20% exercise.  Really?  I have been busting my butt to only be focusing on the 20%?  I need to get my eating under control.  I try weight watchers but not really into the whole point system.  Jenny Craig was offering a special 20 pounds for 20 dollars.  I sign up and it was one of the best things I did.  I had no idea how bad my portions were.  I remember putting my cereal into my nice big Pier One Imports bowl and my Jenny Craig Cereal only fills the bottom part of the bowl.  I'm thinking no wonder I weighed so much.  So I look at my bowls and plates and realize they have to go.  I shouldn't hear an echo in my bowl while I'm trying to eat my breakfast.  I don't follow Jenny Craig perfectly but I do lose my 20 pounds and I'm very happy but I decide not to renew my membership.  The food was yummy and I really liked the people who counseled me with my weight loss.  Now I'm down to about 155 pounds.  I'm doing great with a total weight loss of 70 pounds.

I think I can do this on my own.  I download an application on my iPhone.  The MyFitnessPal.  I love this program.  When we go out to eat I look up the healthiest choices to make sure I stay within my goal of 1200 calories.  It's amazing how some of the meals I use to order are around 1000 calories.  One meal that I even thought was healthy was 1000 calories!  Again - no wonder I was so overweight.  I did this for some time but really wasn't seeing any results.  I was just maintaining.  I'm starting to get pretty aggravated with the fact that I'm eating 1200-1500 calories and working retail again and I just can't lose anymore weight.  

Me at 155

At this time, I'm ok with my weight.  I'm not at my goal of 127 but I'm not crying when I look in the mirror anymore.  Garry says he wants another baby.  Sure, why not?  It's only been 10 months.  Of course, we get pregnant right away.  I go and see my doctor again.  He was very impressed with my weight loss and said I could gain the 25-35 pounds for this pregnancy!  I was really excited.  I can gain weight and boy did I.  We also get orders to move to Okinawa, Japan.  With the stress of moving to another country, and the fact that we basically had to eat out for about 3 months straight I gained the weight right back.  But this time when I delivered Sophia on August 24th I weighed only 204.  Haha I said "only" 204 pounds.  Yes the cravings had kicked in as well and even earlier with this one and yes I was chugging Hershey's Syrup again.

Me at 204 Pounds

So here I go again....Unfortunately and at the same time a blessing in disguise, Jenny Craig isn't in Okinawa, Japan.  I'm lost.  What do I do?  How do I lose ALL this weight AGAIN?  How could I let this happen...again?  I am really desperate because Garry deploys to Afghanistan for 7 months in November.  I don't want him to leave remembering me as fat.  I had to have another c-section with Sophia so I'm supposed to wait 8 weeks before I start to exercise.  I start working out at 4 weeks after giving birth.  I bought a new workout DVD.  This is just another weight loss workout that I purchased during one of Sophia's 3 am feedings.  The cardio workout is pretty intense especially for me.  I could maybe get through the first 5 minutes before taking a break.  It is no joke jumping up and down for 30 minutes.  It reminded me a lot of my cheerleading days and of course was depressing to realize how bad of shape I had let myself get.  Oh well, I keep at it.  I'm doing pretty good with the workouts and only doing what I can physically handle.  I did just have major surgery in my abdomen so I don't want to make things worse.  I lose about 10 pounds doing this and we are getting into the October time frame and I'm starting to get desperate.  I'm still wearing my maternity clothes and Garry will be leaving in almost a month.  I REALLY don't want him to remember me still wearing my maternity clothes.  Because I'm so desperate I purchase the HCG diet drops.  I did it for 2 weeks and I lost 20 pounds.  I would not recommend these drops to anyone.  I was miserable the whole time.  I had no energy and starving.  I did make it out of those maternity pants and into my fat jeans before Garry deployed.  I felt a little better but still had a long way to go.

Garry's promotion to Major a month before deployment

Me at about 175 Pounds

 I'm down about 30 pounds weighing in around 175.  Garry has just deployed.  I'm an emotional wreck.  Sophia is 3 months and Ava isn't even 2.  How am I going to do this?  Plus we are going straight into the holidays.  I try to skip out on Thanksgiving but have some wonderful friends who don't let that happen.  Then my mom comes in December and we eat out and of course there is Christmas.  I'm starting to do better emotionally and the weight loss is slow but steady.  I meet with a trainer who talks me into a boot camp class.  I have heard nothing but great things about it and a friend was joining the class so I'm all for it.

In January, I join a babysitting co-op at the church on base.  I love it.  The moms are amazing and the kids are fun. Ava and Sophia get to play for 2 hours while I get to go to the gym.  I just have to sit 3 days out of the month.  I start running on the treadmill and become addicted.  That is how I fell in love with running.  It took a while to get at a good pace but I just kept at it.  At first it took me an hour just to do a 5k but I kept at it because every time I wanted to stop an AFN commercial would come on about our troops who are deployed and what they are doing.  I kept thinking to myself, I don't have it as bad as those who are deployed so I have to keep going.  I start my boot camp class also in late January.  My weight is 156 waist is 33.5 hips 40.  I could only do 10 push-ups, 0 pull-ups, and 36 sit-ups.

The class is hard and a great workout.  The instructor is focusing on our nutrition however my weight isn't coming off.  I'm stuck again.  She says to increase my protein.  So of course I not only increase it I decide to cut out carbs completely.  I have done this type of diet before and had amazing results.  Only problem, I have 2 little ones at home and no energy.  I can't even run a mile without dying.  I started losing some weight again but I physically can't keep doing this so I put back in the carbs.  What to do now?    A friend contacts me about the it Works body wraps that helps to detox the body.  Ok.  I'm interested.  I purchase the wraps and I'm in love with them.  I see a huge difference in how my stomach looks and the weight loss.  My instructor even notices the difference.  I tell her I'm using and just started selling the it Works body wraps.  She is really excited and we start discussing about the toxins that are in our food and environment.  She recommends 2 books to me that have changed my outlook on how we eat.  The first is The Eat Clean Diet by Tosca Reno and  Clean, Green, & Lean by Dr. Walter Crinnion.  If you haven't read them please do.

My first 10K at the Okinawa Marathon

February rolls around, I have signed up for a 10K.  I'm excited and nervous.  My friend, Jenny and I have never ran this distance before.  We decide the week before we are going to do a trial run.  On a beautiful sunny Sunday afternoon (around nap time) we pack up the girls and head over to Camp Courtney to do a practice run.  I have to admit we did great considering I was pushing a stroller with 2 girls.  The route on Courtney is extremely hilly but we did it in within the time allotted for the race.  The next Sunday we do the race and we are both excited with our results.  Without a stroller and on a flat surface I completed my first 10K in 1:12:41.  I feel great.

I loved my boot camp class.  I am having fun, working out with some great ladies, and losing weight.  Now the weight loss is extremely slow but it's coming off.  In early March the class ends.  I lost my final stats from the boot camp class so I don't remember what my final measurements were but I had lost 8 pounds in 8 weeks.  I could do 30 push-ups, 0 pull-ups, and 60 sit-ups.  Overall great improvement and I was happy.  I do another 10k race around this time.  It was another great run.  I completed it in 1:10:41.  I took exactly 2 minutes off my time.  I would have done better however my knee started giving me problems at mile 3 and crapped out on me during mile 5.  It was awful.  At first I thought I won't be able to finish this run.  I couldn't believe it.  I was making great time.  I didn't feel tired and now I'm wondering if I will be able to finish the last mile.  I just kept thinking one foot in front of the other, one foot in front of the other.  I couldn't stop to walk because if I did it would be game over.  So I just kept slowly running putting one foot in front of the other.  I see the finish line and I run as fast as I can and cross the finish line taking 2 minutes off of my last run.  I felt great!  With the exception of the knee that is killing me.

My Second 10K Time 1:10:41

Now I have another friend who has a personal trainer who comes to her house and she has been trying to get me to join her so we could get a group discount.  I decided to give her a try.  She is amazing.  It's great because I can workout with Ava and Sophia and I don't have to worry about finding a sitter.  We start meeting in April.  During our initial meeting I get a huge lecture about how terrible the HCG diet is to the body and how fad diets just don't work.  Yep.  I got it.  They don't work.  Well they do work, however the weight just comes back and usually even more weight comes along with it.  My beginning stats with my new trainer are.  Weight - 151.2 pounds.  Measurements:  Arm 12 1/2" Chest 36 1/2" Waist 35" Hips  40" Thigh 20 3/4".  Body Fat % 33.2%  Starting Relative Age: 42 Push-ups:  20 Crunches 45 Calf Raises 20.

Before Photos

One thing that I thought was extremely interesting was my Relative Age.  The scale my trainer has actually measures your body fat in each section of your body.  You hold on to some handles and stand on it barefoot and where your body holds your fat determines your Relative Age.  Basically how old your body is.  I had the body of a 42 year old and I'm only 35!  I still have lots of work to do and Garry will be home in mid June! That doesn't give me a lot of time to hit my goal weight of 127.  That's a weight loss of 3 pounds a week.

We start working out.  My first thought was we are working out at someones home and not a gym, these workouts can't be that hard.  Boy was I wrong!  There were three of us working out together with our trainer.  One friend actually threw up!  I came close to losing my breakfast but was determined not to.  I also have to say we got twice the workout.  There is nothing like doing a minute of push-ups and then running across the base to get your kid because she decided to run to the soccer fields then running back to do the next exercise which usually ended being squats.  I'm sure the whole base got a good laugh at watching us workout and chase after our kids.

Having this personal trainer has opened my eyes to so much.  She is also a huge fan of The Eat Clean Diet.  We talk about our food choices and why we make them.  What we are doing right and how can we make better choices.  She discusses how our body's changed after having babies.  Not just our stomachs but also our posture and what we need to do to fix these problems.  Cutting out anything that has enriched flour and sugar.  Reading the ingredients at the grocery store and if we can't pronounce them we don't buy them.  Making things ourselves not only is healthier but usually better on our budget.  She also gives us homework to do.  Stretching and cardio.  Our health and weight is what we put into it.

She learned our strength and weaknesses.  When doing an exercise that I was terrible with she would come over, watch and correct.  She never accepts excuses.  One day I told her I was tired of eating baked chicken with brown rice and steamed veggies.  Her response, "How are you going to fix that?"  We then discuss other healthy meals that are just as easy to prepare as my baked chicken meal.  She watches our online food journals.  She discusses our food choices and better ways to improve them.  If we eat to much we get a lecture, if we don't eat enough, we get a lecture.  I was upset because I had lost weight but my Relative Age had gone up from 27 to 31.  Her response, "You ate a hot dog Kim!"  My response, "That's protein, isn't it!"  She then discusses with us how bad hot dogs are and because of the eating habits I had over Memorial weekend I had lost some of my lean muscle.  I didn't realize that a couple little hot dogs could do so much damage but because the body doesn't recognize it as food it doesn't know what to do with it.  With my workouts and activities my body needed energy and because it's easier metabolize lean muscle for energy instead of a hot dog that's what it did.  She also says something to the effect of, "and I'm sure you had some enriched flour and sugar right?"  My response, "well duh.  I had to have a bun with my hot dog."  Can a girl get a break?  I guess not.  She wasn't giving me a hard time she was just explaining the results of my actions.  What I thought surely wouldn't matter actually did.  There are some things I refuse to give up and she is ok with that as long as I keep it in moderation.  We tackle one thing at a time and I know I am making much better food choices than what I was doing before.

These are my results at the end of 2 months  and 2 weeks before Garry came home from his deployment.  Ending weight 139.2 pounds.  Measurements.  Arm:  12"  Chest: 34" Waist 31 1/2" Hips: 38" Thigh:  21 1/2"  Ending Body Fat% 29%  Relative Age:  31  Push-ups:  30 Crunches:  100 Calf Raises:  30.  I lost 12 pounds, 7 3/4" and 4.2% Body Fat!  My body is also younger than my actual age!

My 2 Month Photos End of May

The lesson's I learned throughout this weight loss journey:

Focus on eating healthy.  Fad diets don't work.  I really had to change how I look at food and my eating habits and my shopping habits.  No, my eating habits are not perfect but if I make great choices 80% of the time I'm fine with that.   The really, really, bad choices I try to keep to once a month.  I am still amazed that 80% of your weight is determined by what you eat.  Before I was eating my 1200 calories a day but that was 1200 calories of mostly crap.  Now for the most part I'm eating 6 small meals a day.  I have protein with every meal.  I log my meals. I also make a meal plan for the week that outlines all 6 small meals.  I still crave my chocolate but I make a cranberry almond bark with 60% cacao.  It's my healthy treat at the end of the day and my reward for eating well.  If I lose weight during my weigh in at the end of the week I get to make another batch that will last me the next week.  I will NOT eat another hot dog.

No excuses.  There is really no excuse to why I can't exercise or eat healthy.  If I put my mind to it I can do it.  If I can't think of a way I email or talk with my trainer or a friend to help me find a way.  When I hurt my knee during the 10K race I stopped running for a few weeks.  To help recover, I used the stationary bike and the elliptical machine.  I didn't just say, "Oh, I hurt my knee.  I'll have to stop running.  I'm no good at it."  or  "I hurt, my knee and have to take 3 weeks of rest so I can't do any exercise during that time frame.  I'll just go sit on the couch."  I found a way to stay in shape and to recover from my injury without losing any of the progress I made.

Strength training is just as important as cardio in weight loss.  I grew up thinking cardio, cardio, cardio to lose weight.  Building that lean muscle boosts your metabolism and then you get to eat more!  Unfortunately increasing your calorie intake doesn't mean you get to increase your chocolate intake.

My motivation.  My motivation are a lot of things.  The first is my girls.  I want to set a good example for them and show them how to live a healthy life.  I want to have the energy to play with them.  The second is my husband.  He is always in great shape and he was deploying to Afghanistan for 7 months.  I knew he was going to come back in even better shape and I wanted work just as hard for him as he was for me.  Last is me.  I want to feel and look good for myself.  I was tired of never having any energy and always being sick.  I have two little ones that I have to keep up with and I need all the help I can get.

I am still working out and while I haven't reached my goal weight  I love the changes I have made.   I have currently lost a total of 70 pounds!  It has been a long and difficult road but I'm getting there.  What can I say...I really did work my ass off.  

"I'm in Time Out Mommy"

It's crazy but I think Ava enjoys "time out."  It was actually brought to my attention by a friend and I will have to agree.  The girl loves to push my buttons and knows just how far she can take it before I completely lose it.  Lord help me because she is only 2.  

While working on potty training, I have a friend over with her two girls.  I keep asking Ava, "Do you need to use the potty?"  "No, Mommy."  This goes on for some time.  Knowing that she hasn't gone to the potty in a while, I decide to check and see what she is up to in the living room.  That's right...the little stinker peed on the couch!  I'm furious.  Because, I know she knows better I tell her to go sit in time out.  Her designated time out spot is right next to the stairs by the front door.  On her way to time out she stops at the kitchen and says, "Sorry Miss Jenny.  I'm in time out cause I wet on the couch."  Really?  She was fine with it and even apologized to my friend for having to go in time out.

Another day we argued over her wearing clothes.  Yes, my little angel loves to run in the nude.  I tell her she has to wear clothes or go sit in time out.  Her response, "I'll go sit in time out."  Hmmm...talk about backfire.  I now have a naked girl sitting in time out as happy as can be.  This is pretty much the same for eating dinner and even cleaning up.  "Ava help me clean up or you will have to sit in time out."  "I sit in time out Mommy."  Of course once she's done with time out she still has to help clean up or put her clothes on or whatever else.  I think she chooses time out because she knows it will piss me off...or maybe she realizes I need a time out from her and it's her safest option.  Either way...well played Ava, well played.  The worst part is Sophia is watching the whole thing unfold and I know she is taking it ALL in and will use it to her advantage.

Ava even let one of her friends who is only 3 put her in time out.  I was shocked.  The best part was she was devastated.  Yes, I did say that.  I need to have him over more often because when I put her in time out it's no big deal.  He puts her in time out for jumping on the couch and she is crying like he just cancelled Christmas.  

One morning she had been put in time out 4 times before I even had breakfast on the table.  I almost lost it that day.  I kept telling myself, I only have 3 more weeks and Garry will be home.  3 more weeks, I can do this.  She is only 2 years old.  I can NOT beat her...I only have 3 weeks.  I am not going to lose it now.  She is only 2 years old.  Dear Lord,  I'm going to LOSE it with only 3 weeks left!  "AVA GO SIT IN TIME OUT!!!"  I almost called the babysitter to come get her.  It was one of the worst days ever...but we survived.  

I think this one pretty much takes the cake.  I'm in the kitchen cleaning up breakfast and the girls are in the living room playing.  I hear a loud noise and Sophia crying.  I run into the living room and Sophia is laying on the floor crying.  "Ava!  Where are you?"  "I'm in time out, Mommy!"  "Did you hit Sophia?"  "Yes, Mommy.  I hit Phia"  This girl just put herself in time out for hitting her sister!

As I'm writing this blog Ava is sitting in time out for not keeping her clothes on.  She really knows how to push my buttons and make me laugh at the same time.  We hopefully have less than a week left for Daddy's arrival.  Till then, wish me luck I'm going to need it.

Preparing for Daddy's Arrival!

It is finally June!  It has been a long 7 months.  The girls and I are extremely excited to have Daddy back home.  We have a date for arrival and hopefully it won't change but mentally prepared if it does.  I haven't written lately and well that's because we have been very busy and not much exciting has happened.  Our days are basically the same.  We wake up, eat breakfast, go for a workout, have lunch, nap or try for a nap, play outside, dinner, bath time, bedtime, and then me time.  I can actually say that Ava is potty trained!  I'm sure we will still have some accidents and I'm just praying she doesn't get to excited and pee on Daddy when he comes home.

I found out last month that our lovely base housing is not scheduled for renovation till the earliest 2015.  This is good because we won't have to move this year as we were originally told when we moved in last year.  So I have officially been making this place more of a home.  We now have a fence for the back yard, translation I won't be chasing Ava across the base as much as I have been.  I put a gate up for the front patio, or I should say I hired someone to put a gate up.  We also have a cover for the front patio as well.  I have been hanging pictures and organizing.  The place is looking better.  We are even proud owners of a grill, a used grill but hey I got it from the neighbors for 60 bucks and it's a nice grill WITH a cover.  We also have plants...don't know how long before I somehow kill them but they look nice now and will hopefully last till Garry gets home .

The New/Used Gate

After 6 months, Ava finally started to show a real interest in her Daddy Doll.  He has gone with us to the Dr's and even to a friends house where Garry was able to hang out with another deployed Marine.  What can I say?  Not much going on...

A few of the wives with Garry's Unit have gotten together and we made some Welcome Back banners.  We have been working hard making this homecoming special for all the guys.  Between baking cookies and making signs for the single/unaccompanied Marines we have all been very busy.  It has been great because the time has just flown by.  This final week will be extremely busy.  A lot of last minute things to do!

We are ready for you to come home Daddy!

Christmas - Top 10 Signs Your Child Has To Many Presents

I know this is late but what can I say...I have been busy.  Ava and Sophia loved all the gifts from Santa,  her grandparents and Aunt Kelly.  We had a great time opening gifts, spending time with my mom and we even got to Skype with Daddy!  As you can see the girls received a lot of presents so I had to come up with a Top Ten List of Signs Your Child Has To Many Presents.

10.  It takes 2 evenings to wrap presents.
9.  When stopping at the post office you get so many packages in the mail from family that you can't fit it all in the car and should make two trips but fortunately your mom can squeeze that last box in her lap.  The guard at the gate even laughed at us.
8.   It takes 3 days for your child to unwrap all of her gifts.

7.  You can't walk into your walk-in closet because it is stacked from floor to ceiling with presents.
6.  It takes 3 hours to place all the presents around the Christmas Tree.
5.  It takes 3 days for your child to unwrap all of her gifts.

4.  Your toddler actually shares her toys with the neighbor kids.

3.  Your child enlists the help of the neighbor kids to open her presents.

2.  Did I mention:  IT TAKES 3 DAYS TO OPEN ALL PRESENTS!

And the number 1 sign that you child has to many Christmas presents is......

1.  When you tell her she still has more presents to open, she cries and says,"No more presents."

We are blessed to have such wonderful people in our lives who take the time to send us these wonderful gifts.  Because of their thoughtfulness, Ava, Sophia, and I were able to have a great Christmas considering their father is deployed.  Thanks again to all the grandparents, family, and friends who keep us in your thoughts and prayers.  We love and miss you all.

"Where Did this Water Come From?" - The Joys of Potty Training II

My Little Thug Bunny

Ok.  It's Sunday morning.  We are going to get back on track with this potty training.  Saturday wasn't very successful.  She peed on the floor twice but I have faith we will do better today.  We spend the morning Skyping with Grandpa Francis and Judy.  Ava takes her clothes and pull-up off and goes to the potty all on her own!  I'm so excited.  She doesn't want clothes on and she does better without them on so I decide to just go with it.  Later I notice she needs to go potty again.  I ask her and she say's no.  We say our goodbyes too Grandpa and Judy.

I turn my back on Ava for just a minute to check on Sophia.  I hear this splashing noise.  She is playing with water on the end table next to my recliner.  It is everywhere, on the recliner, on the floor, on my kindle cover, my running magazines.  I walk up and ask, "Ava where did this water come from?"  I'm looking for my glass on the floor wondering where she put it and then discover that this water is warm.  I'm thinking to myself:  YOU HAVE GOT TO BE FREAKING KIDDING ME!!!!  MY DAUGHTER JUST PISSED ON MY END TABLE!!!  WHAT THE...!!!  Calmly I ask, "Ava did you pee on the end table?"  She looks at me, smiles and says "Yes."  AHHHHHHHH!!!!!  Ava 1,001 points - Mommy a big fat ZERO.  So I calmly clean the floor, recliner, end table, kindle cover (I will be ordering a new cover) and remotes.  I throw out the magazines.  I am furious but whole time I'm finding it extremely hard not to laugh. This will only encourage her.  Who's kid pees on the end table? Mine.  Maybe I have already lost my mind.  

What do I do?  Do I give up and put diapers back on?  I do the smart thing and look to my 2 year old for guidance.  (last sentence is dripping with sarcasm)  I ask Ava if she likes wearing diapers.  She says no.  I ask her if she wants to wear big girl pants.  She says yes.  Ok.  We have a discussion about how to be a big girl and then go upstairs to pick out big girl pants.  I am very afraid I have met my match.  In the end I know I will win this but I also know it will be on her terms.  Till then...wish me luck.  I'm going to need it.

"Where Did You Poop?" The joys of potty training.

With my mom in town during the holiday's I decided it would be a good time to potty train Ava.  She's almost 2 and I have an extra set of hands so why not?  Ava really didn't give me much of a choice in the matter anyway because she kept ripping off her diapers anytime she wet them.  Plus I got tired of chasing her down to change her diaper.  She's little but quick and extremely squirmy.  

I had been reading up on different ways to potty train and started making sure that Ava was comfortable sitting on her potty.  I had bought her potty chair about 6 months ago and kept it in the bath room so that when we were in there she could sit on her potty.  This way it wasn't something new and scary.  I then decided to do a 3 day naked process that I read about on Baby Center. 

The first day Ava did great.  My mom and I talked about how she was a big girl now and doesn't wear diapers anymore.  She was very excited.  We threw out the diapers and let her run naked, which she loved very much.  Ava had an accident first thing but we recovered ok.  We bribed her to sit on the potty that we placed in the living room with an M&M.  She really wanted that M&M so she did it and as soon as she sat down we gave her the M&M and started to read her new potty book that Grandma Francis got her for Christmas.  Ava was really interested in the book and then started to go in the potty.  We were all very excited and yelled, "Yeah!  You did it!"  She was extremely proud of herself.  After that she was amazing!  We just kept asking her about every 30 min if she had to use the potty.  The rest of the day no accidents.  I did put her in pull ups for her nap but took them off as soon as she got up.  There were times where we would bribe her with a cookie or M&M but for the most part she did great.  That night I also put her in pull ups.

Day two.  Ava didn't want to go on the potty right away and I was beginning to think it wasn't going to happen.  I finally gave up and went back upstairs to bed.  I got zero sleep the night before because of Sophia.  My mom said as soon as I went upstairs Ava went to her potty.  Apparently she doesn't like to be told to go potty.  She has to do it on her own, just like everything else.  Another great day of going potty on the toilet.  This is way to easy.

Day three.  Ava decides that she is going to go potty on the toilet.  She was in the middle of playing and says potty.  She then runs to the bathroom and climbs on the toilet where she goes potty.  Are you FREAKING KIDDING ME?!!!  My mom and I are amazed.  Again, this is way to easy.  We have no real accidents and it is going great.  We stop asking her if she needs to go potty because it makes her mad, like she is insulted that we have to ask.  After nap time, we try putting clothes on along with panties.  I'm tired of seeing a half naked girl running around the house.  So the chase begins.  Ava doesn't want to wear clothes and now she knows that when she says potty I'll pretty much drop what I'm doing and help her.  She even tried to use it to get out of time out.  Now the bath room is Ava's play area.  We are constantly chasing her out of there.  My mom found her sitting in the sink one time.  Ava also likes to play with the toilet paper.  She even took the broom and swept all the toilet water out of the toilet.  

Day 4 my mom leaves.  Ava must have known something was up because she was trying our patience non stop.  I drop mom off at the airport and we make it back home.  I ask her if she needs to go potty when we get home and she says no.  She does great till I start making dinner.  While I was cooking dinner, Sophia was screaming the last 10 minutes.  I had just given Ava her plate of food (we have been eating in the living room on the coffee table) (it's lonely eating at the dinner table, I know it's not a good habit and I don't like it, it's hard enough figuring out what to make for just me and Ava it's even harder to stare at an empty seat) I start on getting my plate ready and she comes in saying wet.  Yep, she peed her panties.  So I have to clean her up and her chair that she was sitting in.  Get her new clothes wrestle her to put them on along with yes, a pull-up.  The whole time Sophia is crying in her pack n play.  I finally get my plate ready along with a glass of water.  I set my stuff down pick up Sophia and start eating.  Ava of course finishes before me and decides to come over and say hi.  I shovel my food in my mouth because she hasn't been nice to me yet that day.  She comes over says all done, grabs my plate with still some food on it and throws it in the sink before I can get to her.  She then comes back and takes off with my glass of water and does the same thing.  The little devil is quick.  Luckily I had gotten my plate out, so I saved both pieces from being shattered.  Then I figure well she's trying to help so I tell her to get her plate.  She does but misses the sink and I have steamed broccoli all over the counter.  Sophia fell asleep so I got the dishes done without to much trouble.  I get Ava to pee on the potty again before we go upstairs for bedtime, which led to another battle of putting on clothes.  So my mom isn't even gone a full day and I went for the pull ups.

I'm a little worried since now that my mom is gone I won't really be able to work with her.  I decide to use the pull ups.  I know I shouldn't but there are only so many times I can clean up pee off the floor and change her clothes.  She actually does really well with them.  We only had 1 time where she wet in her pull ups during the day.  I'm still pretty excited and shocked at how well she is doing.  

Now we will see how Ava does with the baby sitter.  I spend some time briefing the sitter on Ava's progress with potty training and to keep an eye on her because she loves to play in the toilet.  I even told her the broom story.  I feel bad for the girl's babysitter.  She always looks like she could use a stiff drink and a cigarette when I pick them up (wonder if that's how i look every day).  Today was no exception.  I walk in the door and Ava is in a change of clothes with no shoes on.  Sitter said she did great going on the potty.  However, Ava flooded the bathroom toilet by shoving paper towels in it. The sitter said Ava did it while she was making lunch. I'm sure she waited for the perfect time to put that plan in motion.

We are now just doing ok with the potty training.  She has realized that she can potty in the pull up and just take it off once she's done.  Now, Ava just brings me her wet diaper that she has so kindly taken off.  The best was while I was changing Sophia, Ava drops her diaper at my feet saying stinky!  Well, at least she warned me.  Yep, she had pooped in her diaper.  Now if only I could teach her to change Sophia's diaper.  The worst was when she walks into the kitchen naked from the waist down, while I'm making lunch, with poop on her hands.  She pooped somewhere in the house.  Why is it when I'm trying to do something, Ava is getting in trouble and Sophia is having a melt down because I'm not holding her?  So I'm searching the house asking Ava, "Where did you poop?"  I can't find it anywhere.  I'm checking the blankets, the couch, her toy chests.   She keeps pointing to a spot on the floor but there is nothing there.  I check the bathroom.  Where do I find it?  ON HER BUTT!  Why didn't I check the most obvious place?  Thank goodness I have taken up running as a hobby otherwise I would have a stiff drink and a smoke right about know.  

I know her lack of progress is my fault but it's not for a lack of trying.  I have decided that she knows what to do and how to do it.  I will help her when she needs it.  The girl is so darn independent she'll do it when she is good and ready and fully realizes that it's something she can do without my help.  Till then I'll be picking up the wet and dirty pull ups she lays at my feet.  

Coping with a Deployment-Kim's Fantasy World

For those of you who don't know, Garry is the Commanding Officer of the 1st Brigade Platoon.  I am extremely proud of him and all members of the military.  I have the utmost respect for them and all they do.  When I discuss how I deal with Garry's deployment please don't think I am making light of what they do it is just what I have to do to stay sane.

With that being said, I will give a little background of how I have coped in some very stressful situations.    I have a fear of heights, sharks, drowning, spiders and zombies.  The last one is strange, I know, but I am terrified of zombies.  If I watch any kind of movie about them I will have nightmares for a week minimum.  I like to conquer my fears but when I can't I go to my happy place.  Enter Kim's Fantasy World.  My world is great!  During water survival training, in Pensacola, Fla. we had to do a lot of training way out in the Gulf of Mexico.  What I did to keep from freaking out about the sharks was tell myself that the Navy put a huge net up around our training area to keep the sharks out.  During SERE training in Spokane, WA I wasn't scared of being caught and tortured by the enemy, I was afraid of spiders!  Lucky for me, I went in the winter when spiders can't live outside in the woods.  My fear of heights?  Still have it, but managed to go skydiving and had a job on AWACS.

Crew 5

Me in front of AWACS

My deployment wasn't a bad deployment.  I was in a pretty safe location during both Operation Enduring Freedom and Operation Iraqi Freedom.  I spent the day sleeping because it was to stinking hot out in the desert and since I flew at night it only made sense to keep the same sleep cycle when I wasn't flying.  The evenings when we weren't flying we would play basketball, volleyball, watch movies, and play card games.  Most missions were pretty boring.  My Fantasy World in the desert was pretty much their weapons couldn't reach our plane because we flew so high.  That lasted only about 3 hours into our first mission when I was proven wrong.  Luckily we didn't get hit and we moved to a different location.  When I found out I was leaving Enduring Freedom to prepare for Iraqi Freedom I told myself that Iraq couldn't strike Prince Sultan Air Base.  A friend kept arguing with me telling me that I was wrong but I wouldn't hear it.  Nope.

Before my deployment I told my friends and family:  Don't watch the news it will make you crazy.  Where I am at it's not that bad.  Don't worry I am fine and I was.  The worst was sending the emails saying: you won't hear from me for a while.  I'll make contact as soon as I can.

When I think about Garry's deployment I do just like I did during his last deployment.  I create my Fantasy World where his deployment is a lot like mine was.  He is hanging out with good friends playing volleyball, drinking coffee at Cafe Oman, playing cards and watching movies.  I don't watch the news.  I don't know what he is doing and I'm grateful for it.  Sometimes when I'm not paying attention reality will sneak up and bite me.  Those moments are terrifying and I now understand how my family and friends felt while I was deployed.  I remember my sister Kelly once telling me she cried every time she heard a plane was shot down because she didn't know if it was mine.  I thought the worst was sending the emails saying you won't hear from me for a while but it's not.  The worst is getting those emails.  So...I cry for a bit and then realize (in my fantasy world) that they are just doing maintenance on the internet and I'll hear from him as soon as its up again.

Ava seems to be handling the deployment well.  She asks for daddy and I say that he is on a trip, he won't be home for a while and he loves and misses you very much.  I show her pictures of him all the time and we have even been able to Skype with him a couple times.  For our 5th Anniversary (Feb 27th) I made Garry a DVD slideshow of pictures of us and the girls.  It is saved on the computer and Ava constantly plays it.  I will walk in the living room to find her dancing and smiling pointing at the screen saying Daddy and Mommy and baby.

This deployment has been hard but we are making the best of the situation.  I tell Garry in detail about our day and what we did.  Which is why I haven't really had the time to blog or even post on facebook.  For the most part I receive an email from him every day.  When I don't, I stress out till I do get an email.  I am very lucky and grateful that we have as much contact as we do, it definitely helps.  We love him and can't wait for his safe return.  Till then, I will embrace my Fantasy World.

Below are some photos from Garry's deployment to Iraq in 2004-2005 followed by some pictures of my deployment 2002-2003.  I'm going to wait to post his photos from this trip till he gets back.